EpiFunny’s of Mine

Imperfection is beauty. Now how many of us
believe that? In the 21st century, people have
made this conception that how you look is more
important than what you are. People do not
really care about how many good deeds you have
done today. They only assume that if you look
stunningly angelic, you are an angel.

Remember my friends, looks can be deceiving.
Boys would rather have gorgeous girlfriends that
b*tch than ugly girlfriends with golden hearts.
I tell you now that this is not a sexist
statement before any of you plan to send ‘hate
mails’ or even a howler (read Harry Potter?).

I know that not all boys prefer beauty to
brains. Still, I know this: if a boy has a ‘not-
so-good-looking’ girlfriend, he will try and
hide her from his friends. I am talking about
boys who are around the age of 13 to 17, maybe
18 and above for those who did not have the
chance to mature. One of my friends (note this:
He IS a boy.) told me that in reality, boys do
not like to talk to ugly girls. If you’re ugly,
bummer! He would suddenly be interested in his
shoes and keep glancing over his shoulders to
make sure that no friend of his is around to
witness the tragedy.

How many girls have suffered bulimia and
aneroxia just to be noticed by boys? I want
teenagers to know that even if you look as
beautiful as Jessica Alba or as handsome as Tom
Cruise or even as thin as models on the
television that your mother mistaken you as a
broomstick in a glance, it all comes back to who
you really are. Beauty is only skin deep.

People might notice you first if your smile
dazzles, but it will only last for 20 minutes,
or maybe an hour at the longest. But if you help
someone get through any difficulties, you will
gain appreciation, love, friendship and of
course, recognition of a lifetime.

Another aspect of beauty is character. Do not
worry if you are clumsy or forgetful. Some
people think it is cute when you knock things
over or spill Coke all over the front of your
pants, but do not make this as an excuse for you
not to try and change yourself. It would not be
fun if you are too perfect.

Life would be so dull and organized. You would
not have any stories to tell, like the day you
left the washing machine running with nothing in
it by accident because you came across Keanu
Reeves on HBO and earned screams from your
mother about the value of water. This type of
characters colour your life. Basically, it is a
part of being human.

So, if any of you makes ‘Perfect’ your life
story theme song, just keep in mind that
whatever people tell you or think of you do not
matter. What you think about yourself is the
only thing that matters.

Love yourself and you will be loved. If anyone
around you bitches about how ugly you look in
that blue shirt, just smile and say thank you,
because you know that you are far more beautiful
than her/him, inside and outside. Walk away with
your head up high and see the world and yourself
differently. Imperfection really is beauty.

p/s- actually You are beautiful no matter what
they say..Words won’t bring you down
You are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words won’t bring you down-nadiA

These are from a book called Disorder in the
American Courts, and are
things people actually said in court, word for word,
taken down and now
published by court reporters who had the torment
of staying calm while
these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the
moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it
affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your
memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an
example of something you
forgot?

ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living
with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t
remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your
husband said to you that
morning?
WITNESS: He said, “Where am I, Cathy?”
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan.

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has
ever been involved in
voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a
person dies in his
sleep,
he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-
old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he’s twenty-one..

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture
was taken?
WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the
baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that
time?
WITNESS: Uh….

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage
terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: and by whose death was it
terminated?

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had
a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?

ATTORNEY:Is your appearance here this morning
pursuant to a deposition
notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to
work.

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies
have you performed on dead
people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on
dead people.

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral,
OK? What school did you go
to?
WITNESS: Oral.

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you
examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30
p.m..
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the
time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table
wondering why I was
doing
an autopsy on him!

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine
sample?
WITNESS: Huh?

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the
autopsy, did you check
for a
pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the
patient was alive when
you
began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on
my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still
been alive,nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could
have been alive and
practicing law.