notes on relationships
Love is in the air they say….
Nowadays. u’d rarely find a girl or a boy who never had a serious relationship with the opposite sex. it’s a culture that had been so imbedded in our subconscious minds that most of the young of our time don’t even know or can even imagine that just a few decades ago, going out with the opposite was a taboo in our culture. but now, it’s so assimilated in our culture that rarely u’ll see a boy sitting alone at a fast-food joint and as weird as this may sound two boys hanging out together is considered a queer thing to do.a boy goes out only with a girl and vice versa,..
I think there’s enough articles and comments from reliable scholars bout this but here are quotes ,stories and observations that I accumulated over the years related to modern relationships, hopefully this shared knowledge will help us all to make better choices in life.
-“a boy falls in love from his eyes, a girl from her ears” –meaning most…. I repeat most guys will be attracted first from the outer appearance ,while most girls will be seduced from the “ayat power” that the guys had to offer.
-“there’s two types of girls, the first one is the ones that like u and the other type are the ones that u can make them like u” -a disturbing point of view but quite a true one, even in malay there’s a proverb”keras2 kerak nasi,kena air lembut juga”that refers mostly to women’s heart.
-“at our time, it’s harder to get good girls, so if u find one, hold unto her”-which was kind of nice,because the guy will choose a girl with certain virtues, e.g someone who never had a relationship before, never went out on a date, never talked to guy etc…but after a certain period of time,they went out together,and suddenly all the virtues that the guy seek within her were turned upside down, ironically by the one who chose her due to those virtues, with the hopes that they’ll end up with a proper wedding(albeit there’s a fair chance that it will not end up that way)
- there’s lots of couples who planned and limit their relationship to a certain extend but as long as they are together,even in the basis of nasihat-menasihati(scoff) they’re bound to cross the line. I know this from my own experience, every human has their own frequency of increasing and decreasing iman(if the relationship is based on it anyway)and the more people come in contact with the opposite, the more probabilities that they’ll reach the weak point at the same time, which explains why we saw even those couples learning Islamic studies are caught doing khalwat. it’s not that they don’t know it’s wrong in the first place.
-“make a move when the girl is in her most vulnerable state, (that is)usually after her breakup”-a proven fact
-“they are two types of girls: “the girlfriends” and the “wives” : the first type can turn into the second type, but most of the time,they never do. even at a glance, a guy can differentiate these two.and sadly some guys can turn the second type to the first type.
-unfortunately for most of us,there’s some bad people out there that realize the opposite sex’s weaknesses and sadistically manipulate them.i can’t possibly write the modus operandi here(it’s too disturbing) but what I can say is,be careful,u’lll never know who they are until it’s too late.
-A relative of mine came before I departed here for the first time, among other things what I remember the most is that he said” Allah created human nature so that the love we have will flow like water, from higher places to lower ground, so it’s a fact that a child can never love his parents like they love him,” but a grateful child can always try right
-some guys just enjoy the thrill of chasing girls. and vice versa too.
-I’ll always remember the time when an Indian boy said to a Chinese girl “ur parents brought u up for 17-18 years, but whose picture do u put in ur purse, ur boyfriend of just 2 years ”,albeit he was joking, but it was the truth of life nowadays, we’re dividing our love and giving it in an inappropriate way. Those who should receive the most receive the less
-“u’ve only got one heart, use it wisely”
Well, most of these are from the male perspective because I don’t hang around girls talking bout boys(that would be…ackward),but I did get some girls’ point of views from trusted sources. Anyway, these are usually secret talks, if I’m not writing in the near future, most probably it’s because I’m already assassinated or I’m not allowed to join any conversation anymore.
I hope my writings can wake those who are still in the mist,those who hadn’t realize the reality that humans are not meant to celebrate just one feeling, but to live a balanced life.
Firman Allah:
?Katakanlah kepada orang-orang beriman lelaki, supaya mereka menundukkan pandangan dan menjaga kehormatannya. Itu lebih suci bagi mereka. Sesungguhnya Allah Maha Mengetahui apa-apa yang mereka usahakan. Katakanlah kepada orang-orang beriman perempuan, supaya mereka menundukkan pandangan dan menjaga kehormatannya dan janganlah mereka memperlihatkan perhiasannya kecuali apa yang biasa lahir daripadanya… .?
(QS. An-Nuur: 31-32)
Hadis:
On the authority of Omar bin Al-Khattab, who said : I heard the messenger of Allah salla Allah u alihi wa sallam say :
“Actions are but by intention and every man shall have but that which he intended…….”
Ihdinassiratulmustaqim….wassalam
